


No Distance Greater

by ricecakes (Animarto)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, M/M, Rating May Change, Tags May Change, i dont know what happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-29 23:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15083948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animarto/pseuds/ricecakes
Summary: There's no distance greater than being on opposite sides of a gun. (And no pain greater than that which you cannot speak of)AkaThe soonhoon secret agent/spies au.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello i dont know what i have done but somehow this came to be
> 
> soonhoon. secret agents plus angst. as an avid soonhoon ao3 reader i have yet to come across this if i am wrong someone link me to a soonhoon agents au because I C R A V E. please.
> 
> I was so excited to write this, not just because i've personally never read this au with soonhoon, but also because recently i had watched a chinese drama from a few years back (i think) that had me shOOK and i started word vomiting this as soon as i finished the last episode. It's about secret agents and hidden identities and although nothing is perfect that drama damn well stole my heart. I live for reading/watching emotional constipation and angst and i somehow planned this out and wrote this in the span of yesterday and today alskdfjaslkdfj im rambling
> 
> this was actually just meant to be a very short, maybe less than 1-2k word thing of the climax that i had planned to keep to myself but this ugly thing just spawned out of nowhere and it's truly out of control please give it a chance T^T Stick around for more because a lot of loose ends are tied in following chapters
> 
> anyway i'll put the title of drama at the end notes of the last chapter of this fic but for right now, enjoy this mess :)

Jihoon met the boy on his fifteenth birthday, and honestly speaking? Jihoon was very much underwhelmed.

See, it's not as if he hadn't known Kwon Soonyoung before then, because there wasn't a single person in their year who hadn't heard of the resident War Machine. The Ace of the military academy, dare he say.

(Maybe that's why he was underwhelmed, because he had such lofty expectations of Kwon.)

 

People liked to say that Kwon was made for war, born at the right time too, really, for all the violence in their day-to-day life. Political chaos caused turbulence and increased fighting, yada yada yada, and if not Kwon, no one was a better fighter.

According to school gossip, Kwon got into a fight with his mentor on his first day at their military academy and promptly took out three of the poor guy's teeth after punching him. He could kill a man with his pinky alone, they said. Everyone was witness to his dead accurate marksmanship and there was an abundance of crazy legends claiming Kwon was actually some high class spy in training. Jihoon thought all that exaggeration was a load of bull, frankly.

Such was the tales surrounding the superstar of the academy. The Ace many people admired or envied or feared.

Lee Jihoon, he always told himself, you're above being interest in some low key hotshot.

And while he'd love to believe that he felt no fraction of admiration for Kwon, he never did enjoy lying. And self-denial is just lying to yourself, so Jihoon would have none of that. He will admit that there was something so awe-inspiring about seeing the fluid way Soonyoung tackled his sparring partner, or the bullets he'd send piercing through the heart of the targets during practice. If Jihoon was naïve, he'd even call this feeling "having a crush".

However, he could say with certainty that any previous prejudice or expectation of Soonyoung went straight down the fucking shower drain when the infamous Ace stumbled on him showering and said "Man, I don't wanna sound horny, but I'd bang that."

In short, Jihoon found in the aftermath of their encounter that it was actually quite easy to send the Ace to the infirmary.

 

"That," Soonyoung would later say, "was the start of a beautiful friendship."

"A disaster," Jihoon had snarkily corrected him, but smiled and silently agreed.

* * *

After their unfortunate introduction, Jihoon constantly bumped into Soonyoung.

Whether it was seeing him lurk around the corners waiting to talk to Jihoon, or trying to catch up with the unrelenting younger after code decryption training, the Ace seemed to try really hard at an apology following his incident from before.

(Jihoon was a little charmed at his efforts. Just a little though!)

But first impressions are often hard to forget, and being told "I'd bang that" on his birthday of all days was certainly nothing short of memorable. Thus, Jihoon continued to give Soonyoung the cold shoulder for a little more than three weeks.

 

"What do you want?" He walked a bit faster in the direction of his dorms.

It was snowing outside, and Jihoon bitterly wanted to seek shelter in his creaky old dorm bed. At least it offered some warmth. He could hear Soonyoung jogging up from behind him.

"Lee Jihoon, wait! Lee Ji-Jihoon's your name right? Come on, just hear me out for a second,"

Jihoon muttered a curse under his breath and wheeled around, narrowly avoiding crashing into Soonyoung.

They stood close enough that Jihoon could see their breaths intertwining between them. He hesitated, but didn't move away.

"Fine, I was getting kind of tired of trying to avoid you anyway. Go ahead, ask away."

Soonyoung grinned a little sheepishly and cleared his throat, "So I, I wanna apologize for saying I wanted to bang you."

Jihoon raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

The boy shifted his feet once, twice, and tried again, "I didn’t mean to disrespect you, really! I'll swear on it!"

They stood in silence for a full minute, neither knowing what to say. Finally, Jihoon broke the tense atmosphere with a laugh, "You know, Kwon, you're a lot more awkward than I thought you'd be."

"What did you think I'd be like?"

"Well," Jihoon paused and thought about it. Had he ever really had a set image of the Ace? "maybe a little more… suave? I guess? Maybe more fierce too, given your rep."

At this, Soonyoung heaved a sigh and shrugged. "That's nothing unexpected I suppose. Reputation's a bitch."

Jihoon cracked a smile. He didn't think that he would enjoy talking with Kwon as much as he was. Soonyoung brightened at the sight of his grin, and gave Jihoon a full 100 watt smile back.

They chatted all the way to the dorms.

* * *

Jihoon found out that the biggest misunderstanding he'd yet to have was of Soonyoung's personality.

He'd assumed that Soonyoung was cold, fierce, easy to anger and quick to fight. And while all of that would've lived up to his idea of the perfect soldier, it turned out that Jihoon quite like the way Soonyoung actually was.

It was a very pleasant surprise.

They had just went to target practice together, wherein Jihoon once again watched as Soonyoung cleanly shot the center of every target. He had gotten very used to seeing this, along with the duality of Soonyoung's aura.

"Jihoonie, you've gotten much better with your aim." Soonyoung grinned through a mouth of food and Jihoon hit him playfully on the shoulder for it.

"Thanks, coming from you though, it doesn't make me feel very accomplished. Maybe you should tell me that when I've gotten as good as you"

Soonyoung giggled, and he sounded a little like a dolphin.

It's moments like this that made Jihoon question how the silent, focused soldier during training was the same cheerful brat he came to be friends with during free time.

Truthfully they never planned to become such close friends, but quickly after their conversation from five months ago, Jihoon realized that Soonyoung had no friends to speak of while he was nothing more than acquaintances with most of the people in their year.

He found it strange, the way Soonyoung was so open, friendly, and chatty yet no one sat down to eat with him in the mess hall. The way he walked alone to get water after sparring practice and jogged by himself during mandatory morning runs.

So he had found a reason to sit by the boy when he'd taken a seat in Jihoon's usual spot in the hall, then made up another to join Soonyoung while getting water.

(Jihoon may not like lying, but when Soonyoung ran up to him in the morning with a smile, it felt like some white lies were worth it.)

* * *

An unexpected result of befriending Soonyoung was Jihoon's rather quickly increasing skills.

It seemed that even the mentors started to see visible improvement in Jihoon's overall abilities.

Soonyoung was actually the first to bring it up to him.

"You know, Jihoonie, you're kind of super talented. Have you noticed how much quicker you're responding when we spar?"

In sparring, they had taken to being sparring partners, unsurprisingly. They had practically taken to do everything together.

It was hard, being Soonyoung's sparring partner. Jihoon could recount with gritted teeth the memory of bruises and his sore muscles during their first month of being partners, thanks to the countless times he got tackled to the ground by Soonyoung. The Ace lived up to his name in the way he never relented, never went easy on him just because they were friends, and maybe it was worth it after all since now Jihoon could see the fruit of their labor.

Not just in sparring, ever since they started working together, Soonyoung's helped him improve his marksmanship, and Jihoon himself found a motivation to do better like never before. The eight months they had spent working on honing their skills had benefited them more than the sixteen months in the academy before they met.

Jihoon was thankful, for many, many things.

* * *

"I have a gift for you,"

They had been walking together in the clearing behind the dorms that evening, when Soonyoung had suddenly piped up.

"Why so suddenly?" Jihoon asked.

Soonyoung dug his hand into his coat pocket, and searched around for a second before pulling out a gold-colored pocket watch. Jihoon's jaw dropped and Soonyoung laughed, "Hey now, don't be so impressed by this pocket watch or else how will you react when one day I dig a diamond ring out of my coat pocket, huh? Maybe you'd even kiss me then."

"Maybe I would," Jihoon had played along, and something minute passed over Soonyoung's face but disappeared before Jihoon could decipher it.

"So you may, I'll keep that in mind my dear Jihoonie. Anyway, do you like your very, very, very late birthday gift?"

Jihoon barked out a laugh, "Kwon, my birthday was in November and just now you give me this?"

"You hurt me, Jihoon-ah, that's why I said it was a very late gift."

"No kidding."

Soonyoung huffed, and faked an indignant expression to make Jihoon chuckle.

"So, you ungrateful man, I remembered you've told me that the day of our fateful meeting-"

" _Very_ fateful, yes"

"Shush, the day of our _very_ fateful meeting, you said it had been your birthday. So I, your most wonderful friend, had finally found a proper gift for you."

Hearing this, Jihoon's ears felt like they were burning, his face a little warm. He didn't know what it was that he felt in his chest, but it ached and Jihoon didn’t know if he wanted the feeling to stop or take over him completely.

Soonyoung didn't say much more, and held out the pocket watch on his open palm.

Jihoon closed his fingers around the watch, and looked admiringly at its dainty chain, over its embossed lids before attempting to fiddle with its opening.

He pressed at the button once, twice, but it didn't open.

He grinned up at Soonyoung with a little smile, "A broken pocket watch, my dream gift. You know me too well."

"Do you not like it? I'm not some wealthy gentleman with a room of gold but trust me Jihoon, if I had that kind of money I'd get you a real, functioning pocket watch, don't you worry."

The sincerity was endearing, and Jihoon was happy, and very, very thankful.

"Sure you would, Soonyoung-ah, I believe you." 

"And the pocket watch? I like it, a lot."

* * *

Jihoon had never felt like time flew too fast until he sat on his bed the night before he, Soonyoung, and a selection of honor students of their year was scheduled to graduate.

Still, he thought he'd quite enjoy getting some action in this political chaos. Many people had lost family, friends, or neighbors to this mess and they were no exceptions, this was a chance to take part in ending this for real. Perhaps they'd be assigned to military central office instead, where they'd spend their days with decryption or telegraphs.

_"Are you scared?"_

_"I don't know, I- maybe?"_

_"…Me too." Soonyoung whispered._

_Jihoon grinned despite himself, "Cheer up, Ace, you'll be fine, trust me."_

_"What," Soonyoung said a little bitterly, "because I'm the War Machine?"_

_"No, you're Kwon Soonyoung and you'll be fine because you are brave, and you have a heart of gold."_

_Jihoon looked up and caught sight of the quiver in the other's lips, the tears in his eyes. He didn't seem at all like a cold-hearted War Machine, nor like a bold Ace._

_"I believe in you Soonyoungie"_

_The boy rubbed his eyes and smiled, "I think if we fight together I would never be afraid."_

_"Me too."_

Lost in thought, Jihoon stared out of his window and took a good look at the courtyard, covered in fallen leaves.

The ground was bathed in crimson.

Penny for his thoughts, but he could never call this academy a home, it had always felt like emptiness. Yet now he could say he was a little thankful to have met a true friend right here in this place.

.

His dorm mates chattered in the background, some were packing up like he had, chatting with all they could in the dorm before leaving this place forever.

The idle atmosphere of the dorm was broken when the door unlocked from outside and one of the dorm guards walked in with the master key.

"Lee Jihoon, you have some documents that still need to be looked over with in the company of your mentor, please come with me."

Jihoon snapped out of his reverie and stared at the guard. Documents?

There was something gnawing at the back of his mind, but he pushed it down and decided to go with the guard. It wasn't as if he had a choice anyway.

* * *

"Why? I was not trained for this, I dare to say, I don't think I will suit the role at all."

Lies. There were no "documents" at all. Tricks to get him here, tricks to avoid letting his dorm mates get curious about top security information. 

Lies.

His mentor looked at him over the brim of his glasses, and gave him a deep frown.

"Lee Jihoon. You are a well-trained soldier of two full years, with praise-worthy marks in many aspects of your training. I expect you to act like it, that you can live up to those marks and take on any and every task assigned to you."

Jihoon was frozen in his place, standing in front of his mentor's desk feeling the eyes staring into him, as if seeing right through him.

"Besides," the man continued, "you must realize that you are in no position to deny this assignment."

"I," Jihoon choked out, taking a breath, "I was not trained as a spy, I was trained as a soldier."

"Silence! Don't let me rethink my decision to place you in this role. Are you truly so naïve as to think that none of the training you had applied to being an undercover agent? Everything! Every little thing you have learned so far is training enough! And is an agent less of a soldier, is that what you are implying?"

The mentor's harsh words and stinging tone fueled a fire in his heart. It ached. Jihoon felt a burning sensation in the corners of his eyes, and he forced it down, down, down.

"Every single person in this war has an important purpose," his mentor said in a calmer voice. It seemed like it wasn't the first time he had had to secretly seal a trainee's fate. "it's crucial that we keep a network of information underneath the eyelids of our enemies. I want you to be part of that network."

"Sir," Jihoon whispered, voice trembling, "I know that, I know. Just…I, I was never informed that our branch of the academy trained for such purposes. Is there not the specialized section of our academy specifically tailored to this field? Why?"

_Why me?_

_Why now?_

"My child, you are a smart boy. You know the reason." the mentor's eyes softened with something that looks like an apology, a little bit like guilt.

And Jihoon did know the reason behind this. Indeed, he never did enjoy lying, and self-denial is just lying to yourself.

To secretly train agents separately from the specialized branch is to allow some agents to have an increased assurance of safety. To lessen their chances of having their identities exposed, as surely there were enemy eyes observing the trainees of the specialized branch, looking for potential spies.

He knew, he knew but he-

"Child, I've seen you grow. You were just a little boy, young, brimmed with anger and pain from losing your parents to the war. But never once did you lash out, act on your emotions, let mindless things overtake your judgement. Those are the qualities I saw in you, that's why it's you and not somebody else from your year we want in this position. I know that no one wants to live like the way you'll have to but we need you. We really do."

An agent undercover in the center of those he was taught to fight, surrounded by enemies, where would his allies be? Where would Soonyoung be?

"I think if we fight together I would never be afraid." 

"There are battles to be fought in the open, out in the daylight where people can see. But just as important are those fought in the shadows, out of sight. And some people have got to take on the burden of that darkness."

Jihoon allowed himself a sob and let the pent up tears roll down his cheeks.

Then he accepted his fate with resolution fitting of a warrior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> askjdfhaskdjfahskdfjhaskjfah this chapter was probably really bad please forgive this smol I really tried.  
> I rarely write fanfics although i read them so often, please critique me if you have any suggestions and thank you for reading to the end of the chapter if you did <3  
> ok ok ok ok ok time for me to explain some things:  
> -if the events in this chapter don't seem to necessarily link smoothly together, it's meant to be. It's written in the fashion of jihoon reflecting on his memories so although they are in chronological order the narrative should seem a little choppy. (my rookie fic skills should help in that too asldkfjasldkfjasd)  
> -there are a few things in this chapter that may seem like unnecessary details that will contribute to future events so keep your eyes wide open uwu  
> -this chapter is literally just word vomit it was never intended it just flew out so know that this is a chapter of build-up slash backstory
> 
> the original idea i had of this au and also the climax of this fic is in the next chapter so please look forward to it  
> tysm passing readers I love u o3o


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indeed some battles must be fought in the shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the actual secret agent content you'v been waiting for!  
> *mentions of blood, torture and death in this chapter heads up*
> 
> the pov of this chapter will be a little weird for anyone who ends up confused while reading I will have an explanation of it at the end ^^

_Five months after the graduation, I became a new face in the headquarters of my enemies._

 

Complete with fake smiles, a recommendation, and a perfect repertoire, Park Jaehoon stepped in as the young and talented secretary for the Head of Finances.

 

It was a mind-numbing job.

The Head liked to smoke and he did it indoors. He didn't smile and never laughed. The previous secretary for him had been killed by his own hand because he was suspicious of her identity.

 

Every morning, Jaehoon reported to the Head and inhaled ten minutes of second-hand smoke while briefing the Head on his schedule of the day and reminding him of financial reports. Then, he was dismissed to go brew a cup of coffee for the Head ( "No sugar, boy. A bit of creamer. Run along.")

 

Three months was spent on earning some semblance of trust, before his first assignment came in on his transceiver .

** *** ** wzkmdfj s…aj fjwp[]kfjsl32k<sjf/'amx…ampq--kqcl *******

***** Woozi. Money grow on a tree. Time to add fertilizer. Further connection through DK *****

 

Jaehoon was becoming a big help in the Head's increasing power. Whether it was helping the man strategize flawless financial plans or writing flowing speeches for him to recite in meetings.

The Head nodded in approval. He liked this kid, talented for sure.

 

There were many events that happened alongside the Head of Finances' rise in power such as the following:

1\. A surprise leak in information for the number of one of the headquarters' bank security safes.

2\. An unexpected friendship between secretary Park Jaehoon and Telegram dispatcher Lee Seokmin.

3\. And the pieces of a broken transceiver on their way to the landfill.

 

The Head was positively gloating. He was the rising superstar and plus, no one in the headquarters had a more efficient secretary than he had.

He was a matchstick, flame burning bright. Unknowing of whose fingers it would be that will soon snuff out his light.

 

* * *

 

Jaehoon might have let it slip to secretary Yoon , who then told his boss Choi that the Head of Finances was going to arrive at 114 XXX street on Saturday at ten o' clock sharp at night. (And oooh the Head was going to be doing some fishy business.)

**. **

**. **

**. **

 

The headlines on the news of Sunday morning newspaper was that the Head of Finances met an unfortunate end in an "accident" on Saturday evening. His car was hit by a drunk driver of small stature who disappeared after the crash.

"It is with regret that we announce the death of our longtime colleague Mr. Jo." Head of Headquarters Choi said for the newspaper, "However, we recovered from his body a hidden card in his suit pocket. It would be our duty to tell you that the card contained information to be given in contact to none other than our enemies. It pains me to say that a trusted member of our team might have been a traitor all along."

 

Up in his HQ office, Jaehoon smiled.

 

Step 1. Money grow on a tree.----------Look for the man with the money. Head of Finances.

Step 2. Time to add fertilizer.----------Help the man with the money. Earn his trust. Make him powerful. Ego will make him blind.

Step 3. Further connection through DK.------------Jaehoon now had a friend in the midst of foe. No more risking the transceiver being found. Destroy it.

*Step 4. Axe down the tree, it's time to end the Head and move on. Move forward.*

 

Following the death of the Head of Finances, Jaehoon was arranged to organize his remaining files for the next Head to come. (And if some crucial enemy information was later sent to a transceiver in the academy attic, courtesy of DK, no one found out)

 

However, Jaehoon would not stay long for the arrival of new Head.

A few other Heads of the  HQ would be happy to have a new and capable right-hand man. Such was the reason why Park Jaehoon soon became a squad leader directly under the Operations leader. It had been a year since he felt the feeling of a gun in his hand. It was as heavy as ever.

* * *

 

Life went on.

 

DK still continued to relay him his assignments, political chaos was still as messy as ever, and Jaehoon had been in the Operations forces for five years.

 

The Operations leader, underneath his little smiles, his "Jaehoon-ah", and his eagerness to gain Jaehoon five years ago, was a much more dangerous man than that poor old Head of Finances ever could be.

In fact, Jaehoon knew the man had always kept a watchful eye on his back, observing his every move. Despite the fact that five years of working for this man had allowed him to treat Jaehoon like a son, Jaehoon felt like the level of trust between them had never grown in the slightest.

 

It's as if the long passed Mr. Jo was a roaring tiger while the aged Operations leader Lee was a venomous snake, and a tiger in the open was nothing compared to a snake in the shadows.

 

Every once in a while, Officer Lee would have Jaehoon handle somebody's execution.

"Practice," Lee told him, "to feel the weight of someone's life in your hand s , at your mercy. Because you must learn to not break under its pressure."

 

It was more than that, and Jaehoon knew as much.

All of these executions Lee let him handle was Lee testing him to see if any prisoner of war was of connection to Jaehoon. Testing his "real identity", dare he say.

 

"You don't seem to have ever felt that pressure, sir. The pressure of somebody's life."

 

The man hummed, and ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair, "Hm. It's true that I can no longer remember that feeling of guilt as I pull a trigger. To be honest, I might say I kind of enjoy it now."

 

Jaehoon plastered a smile on his face.

"Is that so, sir?"

 

"Indeed. Yet you are still young,  perhaps innocent,  and whether they remember it or not, anyone who has ever ended someone else's life has once felt that burden before."

 

Jaehoon looked into the old man's eyes, then into the dark ones of the  woman he had his gun against. 

 

**Crime: Bombed a weaponry holding of the HQ.**

**Punishment: Death.**

 

She knelt on the ground, hands cuffed behind her back, blood stains still visible on her clothes, her skin , from rough handling and wounds.

 

There was a strange shine to her eyes, like tears, but she had her back straight and stance confident. She knew what was coming and she welcomed it with bravery.

 

Jaehoon wished he could be like her.

To die honorably, have the world know whose side he was really on.

 

He pulled the trigger with no more hesitation and looked up to see Lee smile.

* * *

 

_"Was it worth it, Jaehoon?" I always asked myself._

_There were things that plagued my mind. Memories._

_ "I think if we fight together I would never be afraid." His voice never sounded as happy in my mind as He had in real life.  The one in my head sounded reprimanding.  _

_ I'm the one who owe  H im an apology. For not being able to fight with  H im, could not even bid  H im farewell as I left the academy in the night. Does He remember me? _

_ "Some battles are fought in the shadows, out of sight."  the  mentor's voice would echo in my head and then I'd push my memories down, down, down.  _

_Life went on._

* * *

 

It was snowing outside, and Jaehoon was sitting in the living room of his little apartment, fiddling with the dainty chain of a golden pocket watch.

 

He was just about to reach for his cup of coffee when his telephone rang.

 

"Hello, this is Park Jaehoon."

 

"Sir this is Boo Seungkwan. Got some new s updates in the Operations force coming right up!"

 

Jaehoon stiffled a chuckle. Seungkwan, one of the three secretaries of Officer Lee, had a talent for humor and a pretty good relationship with Jaehoon.

"Sure Seungkwan-ah, go ahead."

 

"Apparently Mr. Lee had led a mission himself and killed ten or so people who, get this, _all_ had military academy backgrounds. It was crazy, I'm only gonna tell you this because I trust you, hyung, but that man is honestly so scary."

 

Every time anyone mentioned military academies, Jaehoon felt his blood flow backwards. The headquarters trained their soldiers, spies, and agents in facilities they specifically called Camps, so anyone else whose background was of a military academy and considered highly dangerous, most likely came from Jaehoon's very own alma mater.

 

He didn't really want to know who died.

 

"Aside from that, Mr. Lee had captured their leader alive."

 

"Do you know of the leader's identity, Seungkwan?"

 

"Sorry hyung, not even the higher ups know his real identity. They're probably in the middle of trying to torture it out of him or bribing him." Jaehoon shuddered.

"But-Oh! I remembered some things after all, hyung! He participated in the bank security leak incident from six years back, led an attack on a storage vault once and has like a load of other stuff against HQ in his repertoire. They're not letting him go, that's for sure."

 

"Does…does Officer Lee want me to come over right now or…?" Jaehoon said, not giving away any bit of his nervousness nor wariness.

 

Seungkwan seemed to consider his question for a second, "Well, he hasn't asked for you yet but you know the drill, if he doesn't want you overlooking the torture process he'd probably have you handle the execution. So you should probably expect a call some time these next few days."

 

"Guess your new year's break isn't gonna be fun, hyung." Seungkwan said conversationally.

 

"You're right," Jaehoon muttered back, "it's not going to be fun at all."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Name: Hoshi (alias)**

 

**Age: 22**

 

**Affiliation: Central Military Academy (school)**

 

**Higher Up: N/A**

 

**Information given: N/A**

 

**Known Crimes:**

***Bank security safe incident (6 yrs p) assisted in the transportation and stealing of money, resources, and HQ information**

***Bombing of a storage vault under HQ management**

***Murder of HQ security officers/guards as wells as murder of Weaponry Officer Jung**

 

*****more in archives*****

 

**Pending punishment: torture/execution**

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello, this is Park Jaehoon."

 

"This is Lee, Jaehoon-ah, here to tell you that break is over and it's time you get here."

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

Jaehoon parks his car in front of the HQ gates, and walks into the North Courtyard of the HQ backdoors.

So much for a new year's break, it's January, it's snowing hard, and he's about to execute an alumni (and it won't be the first time).

 

Sitting down on the stairs to the backdoors, Jaehoon pulls out his gun and begins to polish its already shiny surface with his coat sleeve.

He thinks polishing his gun has become a nervous habit.

 

Something hurts in his throat, aches in his heart. He doesn't know what it is.

_This ominous feeling._

 

 

He hears it then, the sound of boots in the snow, and turns to look at the people walking towards the Courtyard from his peripherals.

 

There is, of course, Lee who led in front, who greets Jaehoon from afar with a wave.

Then there are three guards and a man.

 

~~_The feeling in Jaehoon's throat tightens_ ~~

 

Two of the guards drag the man by the arms, for he cannot seem to walk, and the last guard has a gun at the man's back forcing him forward.

 

Even from the distance, the red of blood on the man's shirt is glaringly obvious.

 

~~_There's a pulsing on the side of his head. Jaehoon wants it to stop. Please._ ~~

 

Finally, they haul the captured man in front of Jaehoon and he falls onto his knees in the snow.

Quivering, he only has on a thin white shirt, light pants, and has no shoes.

 

Jaehoon, he, Jaehoon doesn't want to look at the man. His heart is beating too fast to be normal but he can't show it. Lee is watching.

The man doesn't look at him either, because he hasn't lifted his head, Jaehoon can hear his breathing faint and shallow.

 

So Jaehoon takes the initiative and kneels down onto the snow, a reasonable distance away from the other, and reaches forward.

 

Places his hand against the other's cheek.

 

Lifts the man's head up.

 

* * *

 

He used to see many things in this man's eyes. 

Happiness.

Determination.

Faith.

 

He used to see stars in these eyes.

 

So nothing he could ever do prepared him for the surprise, then the hurt, the anger, betrayal, confusion aimed at him.

Jihoon wants to cry.

Soonyoung's eyes had never looked this sad.

 

He's glad for Soonyoung's overgrown bangs, weighed down with melted snow because it masks the overflowing emotions on his best friend's face.

If Officer Lee or the guards see the tears, may they hope it's just part of the snow dripping down from his face.

 

Jihoon's mind races at a speed beyond comprehension.

_What can he do right now?_

_Can he save Soonyoung? If so how?_

_His identity is on the line, and if it's on the line so are the lives of people connected to him._

_Can he save him?_

_Can anyone save them?_

 

All this in the span of a few seconds, yet Jihoon could feel Lee's ever watchful eyes on him.

 

"Jaehoon-ah, you always did have an interest for the tough ones. It's almost like you can see it in their eyes or something. Every time you execute someone who gave not a word through torture you always look at them longer."

 

"Almost like you see something in them. _Know them_."

 

Jihoon's ever nonchalant expression does not falter, but the hand he has on Soonyoung's cheek trembled the slightest bit.

At this, Soonyoung looks at him with something like realization, and hope.

 

 

"It would be cruel to know them and still need to execute them would it not, Jaehoon-ah?

 

Jihoon looks up at Officer Lee with the most collected face he could muster and replied, "It certainly may, but luckily for me I have yet to have had the misfortune of being put in that situation."

 

Lee raises an amused eyebrow, and seems a little disappointed that Jihoon seems to have no trouble replying him.

 

 

To avoid further interrogation, Jihoon pulls his gun out of its holster in one swift movement and presses it against Soonyoung, right over his heart.

Soonyoung stills.

 

"Any last words?"

 

The corners of Soonyoung's lips slowly, slowly turns upwards and he croaks out in a hoarse voice:

 

"I don't wanna sound horny but I'd totally bang you."

 

Officer Lee gasps, the guards look shocked.

 

Jihoon presses the gun harder into Soonyoung, fighting back the urge to cry.

"…Are you mocking me? Do you want to die?" he whispers, a thousand other things on the tip of his tongue that he cannot say.

 

"…" Soonyoung does not say another word, just gazes into Jihoon's eyes with a softened expression. Jihoon feels like he doesn’t deserve the trust Soonyoung is showing him.

 

 

_They were trained to fight for the sake of ending this political chaos. They were trained to keep their mouths tightly shut if captured, trained to aim well, to fight hard, to make the right decisions._

_A hidden identity in the midst of foe is worth the lives of tens, hundreds, potentially thousands of people with the right information. His position here in the HQ saves lives._

_They know it, they both knew what was the right decision. But just because they both knew what they had to do doesn't make it any easier!_

 

 

"…I must admit, even as your enemy, I must applaud your resolve. A model soldier." Jihoon looks up at Lee and the man seems to be done for the day, no longer attempting to dig at Jihoon's identity.

Lee waits for Jihoon to end this cleanly.

 

"Respectfully, we owe you a goodbye, it's certainly your misfortune to act against us and now you show be punished accordingly."

Soonyoung waits for him, lips blue from the cold, eyes trusting and resigned.

 

Jihoon looks at him and tells him the words he never could say before--

"I bid you farewell, soldier." Soonyoung's eyes shined with tears, and he finally closed them.

 

_He finally heard it._

_The goodbye that Jihoon owed him years and years ago._

 

Jihoon pulls the trigger and bathed the ground in crimson.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Jaehoon watches as the body of the fallen soldier is put into the medics' car and driven away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> So here's the deal with the tense changes and pov changes:  
> \- this chapter starts with a single sentence in 1st person pov. It's jihoon's pov, in fact this entire chapter is in his (1st person) pov but i'll explain it further.  
> \- Park Jaehoon, as you probably realized, is the alias Jihoon takes on. His new identity. Throughout almost the entire chapter, Jihoon narrates with this name. He refers to himself with this name, showing that over the course of 6 years Jihoon has BECOME Jaehoon. "Jihoon", to a degree, no longer has anything to do with him. Yet he refers to himself by name instead of "I" most of the time because in his heart he still had not fully become this new person he needs to be. He still holds on to things from before he was "Jaehoon" so to speak  
> \- when it suddenly switches to present tense as he waits to execute the captured soonyoung, it's because up until that point, this entire fic was Jihoon reflecting on his memories. Everything that happened was just Jihoon reliving it in his mind, and that point where he walks to the Courtyard is the starting point of where the characters in the fic ACTUALLY starts to interact. That's when it stops being his memories.  
> \- the second he sees, soonyoung, he stops referring to himself as "jaehoon" and instead says "Jihoon" because the thing he still holds on to from before he was "Jaehoon" is his friendship with soonyoung, or rather just Soonyoung himself. and seeing him snaps him out of his new identity for a brief moment.  
> \- even as "jihoon" he still refers to himself in 3rd person because he's stuck in this place where he hadn't fully accepted his new identity but can no longer go back to his old one.  
> \- the second soonyoung dies, it's back to "Jaehoon" because the connection with his past has broken
> 
> this is extremely confusing askjdfhaskldjfhaskjdfhsajaksjfhsh  
> if this chapter has upset you, look forward to the epilogue and alt ending I will be posting ;3

**Author's Note:**

> askjdfhaskdjfahskdfjhaskjfah this chapter was probably really bad please forgive this smol I really tried.  
> I rarely write fanfics although i read them so often, please critique me if you have any suggestions and thank you for reading to the end of the chapter if you did <3
> 
> ok ok ok ok ok time for me to explain some things:  
> -if the events in this chapter don't seem to necessarily link smoothly together, it's meant to be. It's written in the fashion of jihoon reflecting on his memories so although they are in chronological order the narrative should seem a little choppy. (my rookie fic skills should help in that too asldkfjasldkfjasd)
> 
> -there are a few things in this chapter that may seem like unnecessary details that will contribute to future events so keep your eyes wide open uwu 
> 
> -this chapter is literally just word vomit it was never intended it just flew out so know that this is a chapter of build-up slash backstory 
> 
>  
> 
> the original idea i had of this au and also the climax of this fic is in the next chapter so please look forward to it  
> tysm passing readers I love u o3o


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